Believer in Balance

Thursday, April 28, 2011

House Cleaners are Cheaper Than Marriage Counselors

When my hubby and I were first married, we cleaned the house together. While I can't say that we whistled while we worked, we did work well together. In retrospect, I chalk it up to the honeymoon phase. He did the tasks I didn't like (dumping the trash and cleaning the kitchen) and I did the tasks he didn't like (dusting, sweeping and vacuuming.) Unfortunately though, neither one of us liked cleaning the bathroom. Shocking, I know. So who cleaned the bathroom you ask? Neither of us, except of course when house guests were coming. Then we dashed around like crazy people wiping toothpaste off the sink and hair off the floor. Even then, we both avoided the toilet. Our last minute efforts to appear to be responsible adults who kept a clean house, left us panting and sweating by the time the doorbell rang.

Since our house guests were few and far between, we couldn't rely on the occasional surface cleaning. Well, I guess we could've, but we had just graduated from the days of having to wear shoes in the shower and didn't want to regress. So we decided to take turns cleaning the bathroom. Clever, I know.

This worked well, for about a month. Then it got ugly. The honeymoon phase was over.

"It's your turn to clean the bathroom."

"No, it's not. I cleaned it last time."

"Wiping the sink with your dirty socks doesn't count as cleaning."

"Spraying the toilet with air freshener doesn't count either."

Touché.

Then we made a decision that would impact the success of our marriage. We decided to hire a house cleaner. Expensive, I know. But at that point in our marriage, we had ample disposable income so it was an easy decision. We reveled in our solution and did the happy dance. :)

Years later when I stopped working and the money was tight, we discussed areas we could cut back on. Gym membership . . .dining out . . .travel. Neither one of us even brought up the house cleaner. We decided we'd give up cable TV first.

While our solution won't work for everyone, especially if money is tight, it works for us because we decided long ago that house cleaners are cheaper than marriage counselors.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

There is Nothing Balanced About Travel Soccer

This past Sunday my oldest daughter had a soccer tournament. So we got up at 6:00 a.m., and left at 6:45 a.m. without eating breakfast, so we could drive 45 minutes to the soccer fields and unpack our chairs, cooler, soccer gear, diaper bag and stroller in time for a four-game tournament in 90+ degree weather. En route, after a minor stress bicker about running late (shocker!), we all rejoiced and called out in unison a realization that greatly improved our collective mood . . .

"There's a Starbucks!"

I'm normally not a coffee drinker, but I was facing six hours of soccer on five hours of sleep. And since none of us had time to eat breakfast, this $25 coffee stop wasn't a luxury, but a necessity! Four cinnamon twists and four frappacinos later, we were good to go. Yes, even my ten-year-old and seven-year-old daughters got a frappacino, but what theirs lacked in caffeine they made up for in chocolate syrup and whipped cream.

As I baked on the sidelines with just the slightest bit of shade I shamelessly created with my daughter's Dora the Explorer umbrella (that she refuses to use anymore), I had the same conversation I've had with dozens of parents: our children's extracurricular activities take up all of our free time!

We have soccer six days a week because two of our daughters are on travel soccer, and that doesn't count the soccer tournaments! But I know this type of time commitment isn't unique to soccer. Friends of ours with kids who play baseball, participate in theater productions, or on the swim team, all can relate to inhaling dinner, eating in the car, or eating at 8:00 at night to accommodate the multiple practices/rehearsals our kids have during the week.

After surviving the near boiling temperatures with scads of sunscreen and bottles of beverages, I asked my hubby, somewhat rhetorically, as we drove the 45 minutes home,

"What would we do with all the time we'd have if our kids didn't play travel soccer?"

He just laughed. I thought he'd say mow the lawn, but that's a sore subject!

So why do I enable such an imbalance when I'm a believer in balance?

We love watching our kids excel athletically.
We think it's important that our kids exercise regularly.
We want to instill in them the value of working together as a team.
We know firsthand the joy of bonding with teammates.
We get to socialize on the sidelines and lament with other parents living the same crazy life!