The Vicious Cycle
I need my sleep. Unlike my hubby who can get five to six hours of sleep without any obvious physical or emotional repercussions, I need at least eight hours, preferably nine! So for the bulk of our marriage, I've been going to bed around 10:00 p.m., while my hubby has been staying up at least a couple more hours to get his "I time."
This pattern all changed though when I started working from home. Now I'm stuck in a vicious cycle that goes like this . . .
- I work later and later doing work I want to do or doing work I have to do because I can't get it all in between the hours of 8:30 a.m. and 4:00 p.m., which is when two of my kids and my hubby are out of the house.
- From 4:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. I'm in mommy / drill sergeant mode to get the kids to do their homework, finish their chores, eat dinner, practice music, get to soccer, shower, brush their teeth and get to bed.
- Instead of sitting down to relax at 9:00 p.m., I either go back to the computer, move the laundry along, or attack the clutter on the counter, sometimes all of the above.
- 10:00 p.m. is quitting time these days. My former bedtime is now when I get off work. And I've learned the hard way from many a sleepless night, I cannot go to sleep without some "down time." For me, that means watching T.V. and reading before bed. I have to do both to get my mind to stop reeling from all the details ricocheting around my skull.
- 11:00 p.m. to 12:00 a.m. is now my bedtime.
What's so vicious about this cycle?
I still desperately need those eight to nine hours of sleep! So when the alarm goes off at 6:30 a.m., I'm incapable of getting out of bed. A few snoozes later, I'm sufficiently late to trigger a succession of stressful moments for me and everyone around me.
So what can I do to get out of this vicious cycle?
Work less? No, then I'm stressed because I'm not getting enough done.
Go to bed earlier? No. Not only can I not sleep well without down time, I need to have some part of my day that I'm "off duty" before I get up and do it all over again!
Get up earlier? While my hubby desperately hopes I will do this, I have such a sleep debt that I cling to every second of sleep I can get and do not have the will power to get up even a millisecond earlier than I need to.
Thus, the vicious cycle.
I know something has to give and I have the power to relieve myself of this self-induced stress and exhaustion. The question is when will I come to my senses?
